


The Gifts That Keep On Giving

by SusieBeeca



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: But I had fun writing it, Gen, Gift Giving, It's the thought that counts, Misunderstandings, This is honestly kinda dumb, Vaguely seasonal, generosity, illustrated fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SusieBeeca/pseuds/SusieBeeca
Summary: Padparadscha decides to buy her friends some gifts. What could possibly go wrong?
Comments: 13
Kudos: 42





	The Gifts That Keep On Giving

Padparadscha was bubbling with excitement as she bustled in the door, several hefty bags clutched in her hands. “I have wonderful news, everyone! I have bought you all gifts!”

Lars jerked a bit, startled, and the sandwich fell from his hand. The rest of his crew reacted much more positively, each one getting to her feet and either saying preemptive “thanks” or just bounding on the spot, delighted; even Rhodonite, though anxious as always, had a smile on her face. “Padparadscha, that’s so sweet, but you shouldn’t be wasting your money on us! You worked so hard for it, and you---”

“Oh! Rhodonite is going to say something silly.” Carefully placing the bags on the ground, Padparadscha lifted a hand to her face and propped her bangs away from her eye. It was twinkling. “Buying gifts for my friends is hardly a ‘waste’, you goofball!”

Lars elbowed her in the side and winked. “She’s got you there, Rho.”

Clapping their hands, the Twins bent forward just enough to catch Padparadscha’s attention, but not so far that they could peek in her bags. “Well?” Righty said jauntily. Her sister finished the thought: “Are you going to show us, or are you just going to tease?”

While Padparadscha’s lag was catching up, Lars reached out to pry one of the bags open---but he yelped and jumped back when Fluorite smacked his hand. “Give… her… time, you… naughty… boy,” she gently scolded.

A few more seconds was all it took. “Giftie time!” Padparadscha crowed. “The first gift is a book.” She fished it out of her bag and then held it up with a grin. “This book is about twins--- _human_ twins! I thought the Twins of Rutile could learn something about our new human planet-sharers!”

Their faces both flushed with happiness, and Right happily took the book from her hands. “This is so thoughtful!” she said, and giggled when her sister leaned down to kiss the top of Padparadscha’s head. “We appreciate it!”

Lars, rubbing the back of his hand, looked apprehensively at the bags his friend was rifling through. “Uh, Pads? What’s this about, eh? It’s still a month away from Solstice-mass, so...”

She paused, tilted her head, and then smiled. “Thank you for asking, Captain Lars! You see, I found a human art gallery and I wanted to support both my friends, and local artists!”

For some reason, that just made him feel uneasy. “Uh… okay. Cool?”

Her tiny face was glowing as she reached for the next gift. “Rhodonite, this one’s for you! It’s a small sculpture that really spoke to me.” Before anyone could react, she placed a hand on her chest and murmured “I believe it represents how soft, loving, kindness can overpower even strong chains! And that’s why it made me think of you!”

Rhodonite’s eyes shone. “Oh, that’s so kind of you. I’d love to have a sculptu---”

But she was interrupted when Padparadscha hefted her gift out and held it up. “Here you go!” she said brightly.

There was a moment of looming silence as everyone stared at the pair of fuzzy handcuffs.

Finally, Rhodonite took it from her. “You shouldn’t have,” she mumbled, and then nervously put the handcuffs in her Pearl. “I mean, you really shouldn’t have.”

Scratching his head, Lars began with “Pads… what kind of ‘art gallery’ did you go to?”

She ignored him. “The next present is for Fluorite! Again, a small sculpture, and this one made me think of you. Look!”

When the next gift was presented, Fluorite first went pale, then blushed a deep turquoise.

“These six spheres are all attached together, just like you!” Padparadscha gushed.

Two shaking hands over her mouth, Fluorite gurgled, and then gingerly reached out to pluck the anal beads from Padparadscha’s grasp. The only ‘thank you’ she could muster was a feeble nod.

“And this gift is for our good Captain.” She grabbed the [Hitachi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitachi_Magic_Wand) with both hands. “The human store owner said this was a magic wand that makes people feel happy! I hope you get a lot of use out of it!”

And that’s when Lars finally lost his cool. He fell to the floor, one fist slamming against the tiles, the other clutched on his belly, SCREAMING with laughter.

Rhodonite was massaging her temples. “All in favour of giving her a chaperone say ‘aye’.”

Fluorite’s hand shot up. “AYE!”

The Twins of Rutile didn't cast their vote, because they had cracked their book open; judging from the looks on their faces, "Twin Cheeks" was not exactly the kind of book one could find in a local library. Righty was reading aloud: “’Dixie and Trixie were identical twins, but they were both... uh... very lonely'?"

Lefty’s eyes widened as they scrolled over the next line. “’They were going to order the Meat Lover’s pizza.’”

**Author's Note:**

> She either is completely innocent, or she's trolling everyone. Up to you to decide ;)
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


End file.
